Let’s face it. As your loved ones age, they will usually need help and assistance. And so often, their grown children already have huge demands on their time. So expecting them to provide all the care needed is not really feasible. However, our aging loved ones are often very resistant to accepting that they need a caregiver or personal aide. This can then cause frustration and tension on all sides. If you have an aging parent relative who needs in-home help, then it can be hard to work out how to approach them and how to convince them that they (and you) need the extra assistance. Here are some things to consider: 1. Choose the right time. Right after a holiday or another stressful event is often a poor time to broach the issue, even if it might be the time you realize that more help is definitely needed. Choose a time when you are both relaxed. Consider inviting them over for dinner and then bringing it up afterwards, when everyone is calm. Be ready to table the discussion and bring it up multiple times, or to delay the discussion until another time if tensions are high. 2. Suggest a trial period. If your loved one is worried about loss of independence or privacy, a trial period can help allay their fears. And, of course, a trial period will make sure that the right kind of help has really been selected and allow them to talk to several caregivers and find somebody they are comfortable with. 3. Communicate. Nobody wants to feel that a solution is being pushed on them from outside. Start by finding out why your loved one is having issues – is it fear of their privacy being invaded? Pride? Loss of independence? Grief? In some cases, accepting help after the loss of one’s long-term partner can be particularly difficult. Discovering the reason for the resistance is the first step to helping work through it. Your solutions should involve the elderly person as an active partner, even (and perhaps especially) if they are experiencing the first stages of cognitive decline. 4. Stress the positive. A home caregiver can be the best way for your parent to keep their independence. Bring up things that they used to do and cannot do any more. Are they starting to get embarrassed by the state of their yard? Do they wish they could still read books, but are finding it hard to get audio or large print versions of what they enjoy? An aide can also be a way to continue to visit museums, go to the movies, or take walks. 5. Make it about the help you need, not just them. Many people will be resistant to accept help for themselves, but far more willing to accept it on behalf of others. If you explain that the time you are spending on them is interfering with your work, marriage, or the things you really need to do, then they may be more willing to accept outside help. Dealing with a loved one who needs extra help can be a challenge. You need to accept that they can still make their own choices and not push care on them unless there are immediate safety issues involved. However, getting them to be willing to accept home care can help reduce family tensions, free up your life, and allow them to age in place for longer. When they are ready to accept help and you have discussed their needs with them, contact Elderlink Home Care or call us at 303-734-0641. We offer custom in-home care for specific needs. Our caregivers provide assistance in personal matters and on outings for shopping or leisure, and we will match your relative with the perfect caregiver for their unique situation.